One of the true and real gifts of psychotherapy is being received in a spirit of non judgement, compassion and empathy. Every new patient fears that when her darkest, most heinous side is revealed that she would be discarded, abandoned and wholly rejected.
Nana was no different. She was only 18 years old and filled with self loathing that would normally take decades to accumulate. Yet, she had an unmistakable defiance that made her formidable beyond her years. Nana had attempted suicide again and was disappointed that she had not made an exit from planet earth. She was too sad and angry to speak about her inner hurts and turmoil.
But as we sat near a hospital window, the cool sea breeze seemed to usher in an invitation to openness . She shared her early hurts with me - sexual abuse by an older cousin, rejection by her family, ongoing depression since childhood and worst of all in her mind - she starting to perform learned sexual behaviour on her peers and cousins. Tears flooded her fearful face as she searched my eyes for the first signs of disgust. All I said in a soft, authentic voice was: ' that often happens after childhood sexual abuse and we know how to help you heal from this'. The tears then opened the door to inner primal sounds like a yearning from an ancient cave. She was being accepted for whom she really was despite her human frailties. She was coming home again to herself.
God has always loved us for who we are - on our best days and lowest moments. His stance has been consistent, unchanging and immutable. Accept it.
- God loves all of you. He is waiting to bring healing to every dark corner of your life.